Authentic hope

Hello my Divinely Made family,

I want to thank you for continuing to support me and hang in there with me, even though I've been quieter about things lately.

That's what I want to share about today. These last three months have been emotionally and mentally brutal for me.

Since August when my grandfather died, I've noticed that I've been trying to process a lot of my own grief. In a matter of months I have lost opportunities, walked away from spaces, and tried taking risks on myself that ended in failure.

I've tried to be hopeful, I've tried to overcome it and instead I just find myself grieving.

I haven't been able to schedule any healing circles, I haven't been able to write. My computer is filled with written pieces that I've started but haven't managed to finished. And I realized that just like all of these experiences and attempts I've made to be and do something has left me feeling undone, unfinished.

I am sorry that I haven't been able to offer up spaces of love & community as I normally seek to do. I've honestly been struggling to create those spaces for myself. I don't think I'll be in this dark space forever. As a good friend encouraged me this weekend;

It's ok to not be in hope. In those times sometimes all we can do is trust that although we may not be in a space of hope we're not completely without hope.

So I ask for your continued grace and patience as I navigate this harder space in my life right now. Although I'm not in a space of hope, I know I am not completely without hope either. I have to navigate this grief so that whenever I do move into a more hopeful place, it will be authentic, not anything forced or fake.

So if you can, hold on a little while longer, and I promise that I will be back with so much more to offer.

With Love,

Ashley