The Heart Must Grieve -Compassion for Mother’s Day

“NO HOUR IS EVER ETERNITY, BUT IT HAS ITS RIGHT TO WEEP.”― ZORA NEALE HURSTON, THEIR EYES WERE WATCHING GOD

As I grow older, it does not escape my heart and mind that holidays are filled with astounding joy and immense grief. Neither is a wrong response, they simply coexist in the same spaces. Life does not always warn us about the highs and lows, yet we are still charged to figure out how to navigate them. Many times we wish the brighter moments lasted forever, and the darker ones never existed. Every light has a shadow, and while darkness is hard we still manage to find our way through.

This year on Mother’s Day my heart goes out to not only those who find themselves feeling more grief than joy, but also navigating it in this time and space. In a matter of months, more children have traumatically lost mothers. Mothers have lost children, spouses, friends, people that no one imagined would be gone in this way. Some people are navigating the pain and trauma that already existed in their maternal relationships alone, isolated from the resources and people they could usually access outside of this pandemic. Comfort seems distant, and the capacity to function in a healthy way seems impossible. What do we do in times of deep grief?

We Weep. We allow ourselves to feel what we feel without judgement.

I love this quote by Zora Neale Hurtson . There is no one magical remedy for grief. Truthfully we have to work through it because it’s a part of our human experience, yet it doesn’t make it any easier. While grief may not be our choice experience, it has its right to weep.

Granting yourself permission to grieve is an act of love. It’s choosing to see yourself with compassion and empathy, understanding it is healthy to weep. Grief if complicated. It comes in waves, appears in many ways, sometimes it’s even tied in with other feelings like joy, anxiety, anger, and numbness. It still deserves to breathe.

So as we try to navigate these scary times while managing all our feelings, make room for your grief. It’s ok if you find yourself laughing one moment, crying the next, or simply not wanting to feel at all. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, and teaches us about ourselves. You can’t put a time limit on grief, but you can make room for it pass through. It is your divine right to care for your grief with the same intention as your joy.

As a community let’s make room for grief and choose to be with one another during those weeping moments. So as we navigate not only Mother’s Day but all holidays, hold space for grief also. For when we honor all of our experiences, we honor and love ourselves.

Extend love to everyone, for while we know these moments don’t last forever, they still have the right to weep.

My deepest love, empathy and support to everyone during this day.